The Spiritual Development of Young People and Children

 The Early years

Very little is understood about the specific challenges that children from Christian families face, or the perspectives they have. God intended that every child should be nurtured within a loving Godly family; this was His perfect environment for them. However when we do not understand this and approach their walk with God the same way that we approach those who come from non Christian homes then we can be a stumbling block to them. The language and concepts we use can be a stumbling black to them if we do not identify with their walk.

Children born into Christian family are being born into what God indeed to be a perfect environment. They grow up never knowing a time when they did not know Jesus, loving Him as naturally as they love their parents. Speaking to Him regularly and knowing Him through the simple and accepting faith if a child. This is the faith that Jesus told us all to have. These children can not remember a time when Jesus was not another member of the family and they love Him as such.

The Middle years

As they get older they want to know more and begin to ask questions. This is not because of their unbelief but it is a natural part of their development, when their minds begin to enquire about everything that touches their lives. Quite naturally this includes question about Jesus. They question, in a healthy way, whether what they have been told about Jesus is true. I would offer the suggestion that if you have told your child that Father Christmas is true and then they discover that he does not exist; it may be that they will wonder why they should believe differently about Jesus!

At this stage in their development they may be looking for some information to back up their faith walk. And a good understanding of the Bible will satisfy their curiosity. In other areas of their lives thy will be on the same voyage of discovery and the world of education understands that. Sadly this stage of growth is often missed in their spiritual development and they are kept n the same area of stories instead of being transported into the area of greater detailed historical, archaeological and more detailed understanding. For example they can make and learn about the robes of the High Priest, the tabernacle, the land of Israel, how the news in today’s papers has been foretold in Scripture.

At this stage children may begin to hear others questioning their faith and that of the family, but will loyally defend what they know is the truth of their childhood years. By this stage many of these children will have made their own decision to follow Jesus within the context of their families’ faith – but this is perfectly legitimate and the wonderful way that God intended his children to be nurtured.


The Pre and Early Teens

The next stage of development that can present itself is when the child begins to realise that there is opposition and a direct challenge to their faith. They then have to face the challenge f knowing whether or not they can stand for Jesus in the face of their friends, and wondering what will happen if they do. For some children this challenge can seem overwhelming – especially in relationship with their peers.

When this happens, children are faced with what might be the first occasion in their lives when they have to choose and be prepared to pay the price, in their hitherto unquestioning stand for Jesus. Their environment and own character will play a large part in determining the put come. Children who have Christian friends around them, giving mutual support and accountability will have a strong advantage.

How they react at this time may also depend on the foundation laid in previous years, as well as the prayer support and encouragement from their parents. Above all we need to understand that during this period of their lives it is imperative to keep open communication, pray and support them through this crucial time. When they confess their struggle or even failure to stand, our reaction to it will be a significant factor in determining whether they can enlist our help and support.

Subconsciously during this period they may be evaluating what message they get about acceptance from both their home and church environment. I hear so many comments that evaluate the spiritual state of children and young people based on their performance. I have seen people praising a certain teenager because they have their hands raised; they are full of spiritual talk and are apparently on fire for Jesus. Six months later they may be nowhere to be seen, while the youngster who has quietly committed his life to Jesus and is faithful in the commitment, is passed by. It is so important to value faithfulness and appreciate children and young people who are quietly and faithfully serving the King.

When my son was in his early teems, I noticed that he was not paying as much attention as I would have liked during the church celebration. Afterwards I challenged him about this He replied, “Mum cant you just be glad I’m here when so many of my friends don’t come and can’t be bothered?” How important it is to affirm them and show them that “we are glad they are here.” Here within the community of believers, here in our homes praising Jesus with us, here as we read the Word and pray, here in so many ways.


The Teens

If we can walk beside our children with greater understanding and support we can help prevent dualism creeping into their lives. The alternative is that they may try to win our approval by living the life we want them to live at home, changing to win the approval of cell leaders but then changing behaviour to win the approval of their friends at school who laugh and cast doubt on the faith that has been an integral part of their lives.

If they know that they are loved and accepted unconditionally, just the way that Jesus loves them, then they will be able to be themselves with us, trust us with their struggles and allow us the privilege of walking with them through the days when they find it so had to stand for Jesus.

These are the years when they find their own identity. This can only be truly found in Jesus, but at the same time they are making their individual stand as followers of Jesus whose roots are found in the years of nurturing within family. They will discover that they can have the greatest testimony of all – one that says they have chosen to follow Jesus without rebellion, without backsliding, sanding firm in the belief that they have a “hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29.11)

These quite natural developments are often ignored or misunderstood and consequently leave the child or teenager unsupported. If children can be helped trough each of these developmental stages, their natural spiritual growth will be the healthier. Today we are losing many teenagers, and the focus is on facing the challenges that teenagers present. I strongly believe that the problems faced in teenage years are so often a result of the cracks that appeared, unnoticed in childhood.

Children’s small groups, youth small groups, intergenerational small groups all give our young people and children an opportunity to express their struggles, to affirm them as they walk through their changing relationships, to empower them as they witness for Jesus among their peers and release them into leadership in their generation. Homes are the environment where they are discipled and receive unconditional love and acceptance. as they grown “in wisdom and stature and favour with God and man” (Luke 2:5-52)

(Adapted from Born for Such a Time as This by Daphne Kirk)